Military Spouse History | Life After the Uniform

Welcome to My Life After the Military

A Journey Through Chaos, Curiosity, and Cat Fur

By Melissa — Army BRAT, USAF Veteran, Military Spouse, Aggie Mom, historian, curator, and Full-Time Cat Butler

This selfie marks the moment it all began—the day I knew I wanted to create a blog and share the untold history of military spouses. Monday, September 26, 2022, at 3:27 PM—a quiet yet defining moment when passion became purpose. The real challenge was figuring out how to make it happen amidst the constraints of time and money.

Hello there, friend.

I’m Melissa—a U.S. Air Force veteran, retired military spouse, proud Aggie mom, and full-time cat butler to three demanding furballs who think they run the house (they’re not wrong).

After my husband (or better yet, we) wrapped up 26 years in the Air Force in 2021, we finally did something strange and almost mythical in military life: we unpacked. 

For the first time in decades, we unpacked — for real! No more boxes labeled “Kitchen?” that held snowboarding boots. No more asking which country we were living in. No more calculating PCS timelines against school years and deployment cycles.

Once the chaos quieted, reflection kicked in.

I began thinking about all the pieces that made up our journey—the deployments, the family missed milestones, volunteerisms, the “see-you-soons" that always came too fast, and the unexpected joys of base life: potlucks, porch chats, and friendships forged under pressure — and grief. That reflection grew into something deeper.

I began exploring our family's military history, focusing not just on the medals and timelines, but also on the quiet grit of my family members who wore the uniform and who stood alongside them. I realized something: the stories of military spouses—especially women like my Aunts, grandmother, mother, and mother-in-law—are rarely shared with the depth and dignity they deserve. However, if you ask them... they did not see themselves as exceptional; they were doing what had to be done within the military's structure.

What I eventually came to understand is that these experiences were not simply personal trials — they were part of the military’s broader system of readiness, endurance, and operational continuity. These are stories of joy, humor, leadership, frustration, ingenuity, flexibility, unwavering grit, and heartbreak. And they matter.

Military Spouse History: My Story, In Boxes

My Adventure: My Military Life

Military life didn’t just shape me—it built me, challenged me, and taught me that if

you open enough boxes labeled "Files," you'll eventually find the other boot... or a spoon...or two. I come from a military family, served in the Air Force myself, and spent over 26 years as a military spouse. We've lived in Germany, Japan, Hong Kong, and more ZIP codes than I can count—thank goodness for Amazon's address lists!

We raised a daughter mainly overseas, her childhood packed into shipping crates, blue bags, and airport terminals. Our pets survived cross-continental moves. And somehow, my ever-growing collection of books (and my daughter's stuffed animals) always made the weight limit (barely).

Along the way, I earned a BA with a focus on Southeast Asian history, a master’s in history with a concentration in military history, became a certified Conversation English teacher, and earned certification as a Master Resilience Trainer with the USAF. My career isn’t a straight line—it’s a world tour of skills, duty stations, lost opportunities, and reinvention (not great for finding employment or keeping a career in my era).

My résumé looks less like a career ladder and more like a passport—smudged, torn, well-stamped, and powered by military-spouse grit energy. I’ve turned PCS moves into logistics masterclasses and “starting over” into an Olympic sport (bonus points for relocating internationally during COVID-19).

But perhaps most importantly, I became a collector—not just of souvenirs, friendships, or books, but of moments and stories: the tearful goodbyes, the wild laughter during chaos, drama, and deployments (& COVID), and the quiet strength and loud loneliness that can only be witnessed in the in-between.

Finding Stories in the Silence

Every veteran and spouse finds their own thing, a coping mechanism, and mine was my camera. Photography became my therapy, my creative outlet, and eventually, my mission. I once thought I would make it into a career, but I soon realized it really was my therapy, "my happy place' (a friend once told me). I picked up the camera to preserve moments, and ended up capturing an entire way of life that often slips between the ceremonies and the airports. It was not a job – it was escapism.

Today, I’m the Curator of Military History at a nonprofit museum, where I blend academic research, lived experience, and traditional operational military history into exhibits people can connect with. And in my “free time” (a flexible term), I work on my independent research into military spouse history — or wander around with my camera photographing birds, flowers, and the three cats who supervise everything I do.

My mission now is simple:

To honor the history and the people behind the service.

Not just the uniformed heroes, but the ones holding the camera, carrying the load, thrusting into leadership roles, and finding ways to laugh when the power goes out mid-pack-out…or the washing machine floods your kitchen two days after your spouse deploys - yes, that happened to me.

Is This Blog For You?

Aren't we all a "Hot Mess"

This is my little corner of the internet where history meets humor, good, bad, and the ugly truth...where the past isn’t dusty—it’s deeply personal (and scholarly sound). Whether you're a military spouse, veteran, military kid, history nerd, or someone who just loves a good story or a WTF moment (and maybe a sarcastic cat), you’re welcome here.

Let’s explore the histories that don’t always get told—the ones in the margins, the ones that kept us going, the ones that made us who we are (i.e., veteran, women, military spouse).

Grab a cup of coffee (or something stronger — I don’t judge), settle in, and prepare to laugh, cry, and maybe discover what’s really hiding in that box labeled “Misc.”

And if you don’t like it? That’s okay. I’m not ice cream or a sweet peach — I wasn’t made for universal approval... Scroll on– It's all good.

Welcome to my life after the military.

~Mel

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